The Blame Game !
A witch
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975
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C'est la que se met le lecteur. Ne pas effacer. A besoin de l'id
| CROWD | A witch! A witch! We’ve got a witch! A witch! |
| VILLAGER 1 | We’ve found a witch. May we burn her? |
| CROWD | Burn her! Burn! |
| BEDEVERE | How do you know she is a witch? |
| VILLAGER 2 | She looks like one. |
| BEDEVERE | Bring her forward. |
| WITCH | I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch. |
| BEDEVERE | But you are dressed as one. |
| WITCH | They dressed me up like this. |
| CROWD | No, we didn't - no. |
| WITCH | And this isn't my nose, it's a false one. |
| BEDEVERE | Well? |
| VILLAGER 1 | Well, we did do the nose. [... ] And the hat - but she is a witch |
| CROWD | Burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah! |
| BEDEVERE | Did you dress her up like this? |
| CROWD | No! No! No, no! ... Yes. Yes, yes. A bit, a bit. She has got a wart. |
| BEDEVERE | What makes you think she is a witch? |
| VILLAGER 3 | Well, she turned me into a newt. |
| BEDEVERE | A newt? |
| VILLAGER 3 | I got better. |
| VILLAGER 2 | Burn her anyway! |
| CROWD | Burn! Burn her! Burn her! |
| BEDEVERE | Quiet, quiet. Quiet, quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. |
| VILLAGER 2 | Are there? What are they? |
| CROWD | Tell us, tell us. |
| BEDEVERE | Tell me, what do you do with witches? |
| VILLAGER 2 | Burn! |
| CROWD | Burn, burn them up! |
| BEDEVERE | And what do you burn apart from witches? |
| VILLAGER 1 | More witches! |
| VILLAGER 2 | Wood! |
| BEDEVERE | So, why do witches burn? |
| VILLAGER 3 | B... cause they're made of ... wood? |
| BEDEVERE | Good! |
| CROWD | Oh yeah, yeah ... |
| BEDEVERE | So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? |
| VILLAGER 1 | Build a bridge out of her. |
| BEDEVERE | Aah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone? |
| VILLAGER 1 | Oh, yeah. |
| BEDEVERE | Does wood sink in water? |
| VILLAGER I | No, no. |
| VILLAGER 2 | It floats! It floats! |
| VILLAGER 1 | Throw her into the pond! |
| CROWD | The pond! |
| BEDEVERE | What also floats in water? |
| VILLAGER 1 | Bread! |
| VILLAGER 2 | Apples! |
| VILLAGER 3 | Very small rocks! |
| VILLAGER 1 | Cider! |
| VILLAGER 2 | A great gravy! |
| VILLAGER 1 | Cherries! |
| VILLAGER 3 | Nuts! |
| VILLAGER 3 | Churches! Churches! |
| VILLAGER 2 | Lead... lead! |
| ARTHUR | A duck. |
| CROWD | Oooh. |
| BEDEVERE | Exactly! So, logically ... |
| VILLAGER 1 | If ... she ... weighs ... the same ... as a duck ..., she's made of wood. |
| BEDEVERE | And therefore? |
| VILLAGER | A witch! |
| CROWD | A witch! A witch! A witch! [...] |
| VILLAGER | Here is a duck. Use this duck |
| BEDEVERE | Very good. We shall use my largest scales. |
| CROWD | Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh... |
| BEDEVERE | Right. Remove the supports! |
| CROWD | A witch! Burn her! Burn her! |